


Shaped Like a Heart

by suncityblues



Category: Veep
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amy POV, Bisexual Dan is my favorite Dan, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 10:18:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4016020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suncityblues/pseuds/suncityblues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“She turns the screen with the offending photo so Dan can see it and his expression is better than all the sex they ever had combined. And then actual good sex on top of that.</p><p>‘You really shouldn’t let your boyfriend post things when he’s drunk’ she chides, even though she’s fairly certain Dan’s too busy trying to figure out how to destroy the internet with his mind to listen to what’s she’s saying.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shaped Like a Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted to [suncityblues on tumblr](http://suncityblues.tumblr.com/post/119964202704/veep-fic-shaped-like-a-heart), feel free to stop by and say hi or give me ideas for fics to write :)

“So” Amy says, careful to hide a grin behind her coffee cup, “you and the jolly green fuck up, huh.”

She mimes drawing a heart in the air with her free hand and wishes she had Jonah’s stupid 1D camera to take hundreds of action shots in quick succession and properly document Dan’s shift from regular smug resting face to horror before finally settling on something she figures is a combination of embarrassment and suspicion.

He takes his coffee off the table but doesn’t drink it. It’s like she can hear the gears clicking together in his stunted robot brain.

“...what makes you think there’s something between Jonah and I?” Dan says stiffly after a pause that she knows he knows was too long for her to buy. It’s one of the many benefits of having worked together for so long.

Amy checks her phone while watching Dan squirm in her peripheral vision. She placidly refreshes her email for the thirtieth time that morning before scrolling over to her pictures; the post is still on Instagram as far as she knows but she made sure to take a screenshot anyway. For posterity or blackmail, she hasn’t quite decided yet.

And the picture would be cute if it was anyone else but it’s Jonah with his arm around Dan and Jonah with his mouth on Dan’s head. She knows, logically, it's a tame kiss but she’s pretty sure thinking about Dan and Jonah together in any way that’s positive or nonprofessional would make her head fall off.

It’s downright fucking romantic, actually. They're leaning against a deck of a restaurant, Dan looks drunk and almost-happy which is as close to actually-happy as she’s seen him in a long time and it pisses her off a little bit. She can’t really explain why but the fact that the faceless, nameless third party who took the photo was some random waiter or passer-by, annoys her. A stranger was invited into the weird, probably terrible, secret lives of Jonah and Dan before she was, and even though she’d be pissed if she had to be there too, it makes some half dead part of Amy’s heart feel betrayed. A little bit.

So she considers it the height of charity that she still decided to invite Dan out for morning coffee to break the news to him.

She turns the screen with the offending photo so he can see it and his expression is better than all the sex they ever had combined. And then actual good sex on top of that.

“You really shouldn’t let your boyfriend post things when he’s drunk” she chides, even though she’s fairly certain Dan’s too busy trying to figure out how to destroy the internet with his mind to listen to what’s she’s saying.

Amy sighs and circles around to being an adult despite how tempting it is to continue torturing her friend.

“You realize this is going to be a shit show, right? Once word gets out that one of the staffers Selina fired is gay, and is now working with the campaign manager who walked out shortly after, it's going to have people talking. And if you and your dick fuck up my future I will personally end your life.”

Dan is already sending what she assumes is a furious text message by the time she finishes her spiel. He gets up and says, “Not boyfriends. Not gay. I’m going to punch Jonah in the face” as he walks towards the door.

Amy nods sagely, “You’d hardly be the first” she says to Dan's empty chair.

.+.

She doesn’t really know what happens after that but she does get a lot of phone calls about it.

Mostly it’s Mike double and triple checking that she can’t mystically go back in time and make his job easier, since Dan won’t take his calls and Jonah is calling him way too much.

But the truth is, outside of a fairly small circle, no one really cares. It makes the rounds on a few anti-Meyer blogs that have articles with titles like, “Does Selina Meyer Hate the Gays?” but it’s all conjecture and of Selina’s recent fuck ups this is just a small ripple in the pond-- hardly the career ending catastrophe that was playing on repeat in Amy’s mind for the better part of the week.

Watching Dan be miserable got old pretty quickly too and now she’s mostly just afraid he’ll get fired and she’ll be left in Purcell land without someone to yell at.

She sees Dan almost every day but they don’t talk about the photograph. She notices when he starts carrying his miscellaneous assortment of benzos with him wherever he goes and when he starts asking her if she wants to get drinks more nights than not but she lets that slide too.

He’s not even Ben Caffrey on a good day, and between work and Ed and the five hours of sleep she barely gets per night she doesn’t have the energy to be Dan’s mom anyway.

Still, when she sees Jonah’s name come up on her caller ID three times in one hour she can’t say she’s surprised. It’s been almost two weeks since Jonah posted the picture and from what Amy could peace together against her will, Dan isn’t talking to him. Or, really, anyone except her and that’s just because they work together.

She gets slightly sick to her stomach whenever she realizes just how wrapped up in each other’s lives she and Dan are, so she tries not to think about it. She did her friend duty of breaking the news to him before he found out from his mom, and as far as she’s concerned that’s all the niceness required of her for the rest of the year but still somehow finds herself saying “What the fuck is wrong with you?” as she hands Dan his pint that night.

“What are you talking about?” Dan grinds out in a way which means that he would rather throw himself off a cliff than have this conversation.

“With you and Jonad!” Amy presses on, trampling all over Dan’s subtext, “Three days is, maybe, the longest time you’re allowed to sulk over a photo. I mean, what year do you think it is that you have to pretend to be into girls so that people will respect you on the hill? You’re hardly Harvey fucking Milk.”

Dan looks even more annoyed, “I am into girls!” he yells and then, when a bunch of people at the bar turn to look at him, continues at a lower volume, “I’m into boys too, okay, and it’s not about that. It’s fucking Jonah, always making shit weird.”

Amy leans back in her chair and purses her lips.  
Of course Dan is allergic to commitment, she’s met enough of his exes to know that already, breaking an engagement in an Applebee’s is like a boy scouts badge he wears. It stands to reason that a photograph of him not looking miserable next to another person would send him off the deep end.

“Jesus christ, Dan” she says into her vodka, “you are such a fucking baby.”  
“Leave it alone, Amy” he shoots back immediately.

And she does, but if Jonah just happens to find out what bar they’re at, and just happens to show up, and have a blow out with Dan in the parking lot where the words “shit for brains” and “I missed you” are thrown around, well, Amy figures she could always cash in on her good deeds at a later date.

 

.+.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, just so you know, the title of the fic comes from the song/poem [Green Valentine Blues by Allen Ginsberg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR0UIkin7r8)


End file.
